My friend is about to start dating again, and she said it’s been so long since she had sex, she had forgotten what to do to get off. A vibrator, I told her, would remind her of what the hell her lady parts are for, because if she doesn’t know how to get off, then how the hell is someone else manage it? So, doing what any great friend would do, I drove my friend to the sex store.
She could never go there, she told me. Except she did. We did. More than the embarrassment, she needed to know it was okay to want to remember and experience an exquisite toe curling climax. So many females grew up being ashamed of being sexual beings. As another girlfriends said to me recently, when teenage boys find out that teenage girls are also horny, they’re shocked. They shouldn’t be. Women want to come, a lot, and they can come, all night if they want.
Women are told, ‘close your legs, don’t wear that, put your tits away,’ and more. As though it’s our fault we were born the way we are. No, we are just born the way we are, and we deserve to have orgasms even with or without a partner.
The sex store was hilarious. Costumes that looked like they itched, with large labels attached warning you not to wear near a flame, which seems at odds with a romantic candlelit night of lovemaking. There were soft plastic bottoms lined along the wall, ready for spanking and more, and bras and knickers where you could feel the breeze on your important bits.
We laughed until she was comfortable, then we went to the area where the fun things are for her pleasure. The salesgirl and I discussed the pros and cons of the devices and eventually she settled on one with excellent reviews and it’s super glam looking, which is important!
Besides reminding her that she is worthy of the incredible feeling of having an orgasm again, I told her that an orgasm triggers the release of dopamine, endorphins, and oxytocin, which, in addition to making you feel amazing, have also been shown to lower blood pressure. They also improve self -esteem and it has even been shown to have positive effects on the gut health, improving digestion, decreasing bloating and ameliorating the negative effects of anxiety and depression. They can also reenergise and unblocked your creative self, just saying.
All this and more!
And while not everyone can get to the sex store, consider buying one online. They will deliver and it’s all very discreet and you can even pick it up from the post office. Easy peasy, pelvic floor squeezy!
And in the words of Eva Longoria.
“I didn’t begin enjoying sex until I started masturbating. Before that, I really wasn’t sexual. I bought my first vibrator three years ago. It’s a shame I didn’t discover it sooner. Now, I give Rabbit vibrators to all my girlfriends. They scream when they unwrap it. The best gift I can give them is an orgasm.” — Self, 2005
BAM! BOOM! GETT OFFF!